5 Tips For Writing Successful Personal Insight Essays
Writer’s block can be really tough when it comes to college application essays. Luckily, we’ve come up with helpful tips to help with writing your University of California personal insight essays!
It’s mid-November, and UC application deadlines are rapidly approaching! If you started your application early and are already wrapping up, you’re likely still constantly revising your personal insight essays. After all, you can never “spend too much” time on your future, right?
To help guide you along this process, we will be discussing 5 different tips for writing successful personal insight essays. Below we have shared a personal insight essay from a UCLA alumnus to provide examples for each point we make below.
First, let’s read over the personal insight question. Here’s the prompt:
“Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?”
“You know Leon? Yeah, well, he’s in big trouble, and he’s going to jail for a long, damn time.” It took a minute to let the officer’s words sink in as he searched our bedrooms. Outraged, I mindlessly charged at him only to be forced back into the living room. For the first time in years, I found myself crying. I was shocked at what I heard, and I couldn’t imagine life with my dad in prison for growing marijuana.
A household of six dwindled to four. For days, I waited for my dad and stepmom to come home and comfort us, but it never happened. Instead of sitting around to sulk, I made the best of the situation, and I made my family’s well-being my life. With two siblings who needed care and a grandpa who was unhealthy, I stepped into my dad’s shoes and became “the man of the house.”
My time for schoolwork was limited to nighttime after my siblings were asleep. I did practically everything, from taking my siblings to school to buying and cooking food to taking clothes to the Laundromat. In that same time, I even filed for mortgage re-modification when our home underwent foreclosure and managed to save our house. What 16-year old kid has to do this!?
It put me at dismay to take on all these responsibilities. I knew I was needed at home, yet I was envious of my friends who were always out having fun while I was stuck at home vacuuming or washing dishes. But as bills accumulated, I began to wonder: How does my dad support the family (he never graduated from high school)? That’s when it hit me.
My dad always puts in 200% effort into everything in order to create every possibility for me that he didn’t have. The whole reason he was arrested in the first place was that he wanted to provide our family with better living conditions than he had to live, yet I was only complaining about my responsibilities. I then vowed to one day return the favor, and more.
Word Count: 350
- Be personal.
This is an absolute must. Hence, these essays are called “personal insight questions.” College admissions counselors are expecting you to share a story that is unique to you. Surely, there will be other people in the world who have had similar stories, but every person has a different experience from another. You just have to find what that is.
“You know Leon? Yeah, well, he’s in big trouble, and he’s going to jail for a long, damn time.” It took a minute to let the officer’s words sink in as he searched our bedrooms. Outraged, I mindlessly charged at him only to be forced back into the living room. For the first time in years, I found myself crying. I was shocked at what I heard, and I couldn’t imagine life with my dad in prison for growing marijuana.
At the beginning of this essay, you will find that the writer got personal instantly. From the very start of the first paragraph, he was personal by sharing something that we would not know about him otherwise, all the while presenting the introduction with a captivating anecdote.
- Be bold, but not inappropriate.
Don’t afraid to be bold. There is a fine line between being bold and being inappropriate. Being bold sets yourself apart from other stories by sharing something that shocks the reader. Being inappropriate sets yourself apart by sharing something your reader should not know – you don’t want to do this! Instead, be a bit risky and change up your rhetoric, word choice, or sentence structure. This can help you be unique by writing in a different style!
“You know Leon? Yeah, well, he’s in big trouble, and he’s going to jail for a long, damn time.”
Notice that the author of this personal statement decided to use the word “damn.” To many students, this may seem taboo for a college application essay, but again: don’t be afraid to be bold. While this is somewhat out of the ordinary, this is exactly what you want! Using the word “damn” added a specific set of emotions to the statement all the while setting him apart from many others’ stories. At the same time, the word is also not inappropriate enough to be distasteful to the reader.
- Be emotional (show, don’t tell).
Show some vulnerability in your personal statement. We’re not saying you should aim to make your readers cry, but if they happen to, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Especially when writing a response to a prompt that asks to talk about obstacles in your life, there is likely an emotional story behind the answer.
For the first time in years, I found myself crying. I was shocked at what I heard, and I couldn’t imagine life with my dad in prison for growing marijuana.
Instead of sitting around to sulk, I made the best of the situation, and I made my family’s well-being my life.
It put me at dismay to take on all these responsibilities. I knew I was needed at home, yet I was envious of my friends who were always out having fun while I was stuck at home vacuuming or washing dishes.
My dad always puts in 200% effort into everything in order to create every possibility for me that he didn’t have. The whole reason he was arrested in the first place was that he wanted to provide our family with better living conditions than he had to live, yet I was only complaining about my responsibilities.
In this personal statement, the writer wrote about a dark time in his life where he was fed up with living an irregular life compared to his friends. He shows his frustration of having to take on more responsibilities than most people he knew (“What 16-year old kid has to do this!?”). Overall, he walked us through the different emotions he felt: from disheartened to courageous, frustrated, and ultimately empowered.
- Be relevant and answer the prompt (all of it!).
While you want to tell a compelling story, it is important to make sure that your essay is relevant to the essay prompt. The examples you provide in your personal statements should be interesting, but it will only be interesting if you answering the question that is being asked. More importantly, you want to answer every part of an essay prompt, not just one.
1) “Describe the most significant challenge you have faced.”
“You know Leon? Yeah, well, he’s in big trouble, and he’s going to jail for a long, damn time.” It took a minute to let the officer’s words sink in as he searched our bedrooms. Outraged, I mindlessly charged at him only to be forced back into the living room. For the first time in years, I found myself crying. I was shocked at what I heard, and I couldn’t imagine life with my dad in prison for growing marijuana.
2) “What steps have you taken to overcome this challenge?”
A household of six dwindled to four. For days, I waited for my dad and stepmom to come home and comfort us, but it never happened. Instead of sitting around to sulk, I made the best of the situation, and I made my family’s well-being my life. With two siblings who needed care and a grandpa who was unhealthy, I stepped into my dad’s shoes and became “the man of the house.”
3) “How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?”
It put me at dismay to take on all these responsibilities. I knew I was needed at home, yet I was envious of my friends who were always out having fun while I was stuck at home vacuuming or washing dishes. But as bills accumulated, I began to wonder: How does my dad support the family (he never graduated from high school)? That’s when it hit me.
By breaking down the entire question into parts, he answers the prompt by revealing different pieces of his story throughout the essay. He also made sure that he was actually answering what the prompt asks of him and not making any tangents.
- Be resolute – details matter.
This point doesn’t only apply to this specific prompt – you want to write with purpose. With a limit of only 350 words per prompt, you want to make every word count. Each comma you decide to use to create a pause should be meaningful. Every statement made should tell your reader something new. Remember: details matter! In fact, details probably make up most of your story.
My time for schoolwork was limited to nighttime after my siblings were asleep. I did practically everything, from taking my siblings to school to buying and cooking food to taking clothes to the Laundromat. In that same time, I even filed for mortgage re-modification when our home underwent foreclosure and managed to save our house. What 16-year old kid has to do this!?
The writer for this personal statement was very specific with his word choice. Without having to explain himself, he allows for his usage of punctuation display his frustration. For example, he ends the paragraph by asking his reader, “What 16-year old kid has to do this?” By closing in this way, he had revealed a couple things:
- He was 16 years old.
- He was frustrated (“!?”)
As a reminder, UC applications are due on November 30th. There are still two weeks left, but it is never too early to begin planning for your success! If you run into writer’s block, refer back to these 5 tips for writing successful personal insight essays!